Monday, August 24, 2015

Unrequited Encounter

Important companion before,
   who turned butterflies in the core.
Silently wishing to honor
   those feelings doesn't want to pour.

I know there's no turning back,
   to all my feelings that were flock.
Love cannot return like a clock,
   so appreciate 'til it's blank.

Questions in mind always playing,
   how to start story from staying?
Afraid to find out sensibly,
   the answers of clueless dreaming.

I'm just another girl for you,
   whom you can lean when you need clue.
Tears falling down, doesn't know who.
I loved quietly but stuck too.

It's time I must say my own thoughts,
I loved you before it was caught.
Kept my emotion, not to fought,
'coz I know we differ in thought.

It was a poem I made last July 14, 2015. So far, this is my favorite work of mine. It speaks what my mouth cannot. It's all my unpoken words and unspoken feelings. I know and I already accepted the fact that I'm just an imagination and an option to your kind of world.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Definitely Invisible

Rainbows came by behind the rain.
The sun comes up after the pain.
It was all calm, unlocking chain.
Flowers seems to bloom, beautiful again.

Shattered memories were all gone,
only bright colors start to shine.
All that I foresee was the fun,
not knowing that it can be crime.

I let you go because it's right.
Never mine, but all yours to fight.
I'm the only one playing kite
'cause you never see, way up high.

All the sacrifices went back.
It seems that, in cards I'm just your Jack.
Questions in mind that were unjust.
Why does you notice them, so fast?

It would be better if you said you don't have interest. It would be much better if you tell me, "don't worry and never bother because it's nothing." But all you said means, you're getting there. You're slaying. I don't have any right but the hardest part was you know what I've been through all these time. You know my story. I told you my story. The pain just came back. The sacrifices slapped me again. The memories are remembered. I don't know how to act because I don't want to be selfish. But, it hurts when you can't just tell me. You don't have the guts. It was all mine since everything changed. I let go because it's the right thing to do. I don't want to be stupid anymore. But even though I changed, there was still a part of me carrying those pieces in the past. It's not easy to throw away those memories I had. Those memories that made me happy and fulfilled. Those memories that made me know myself more. Those memories who hurt me. And most of all, those memories that made me lift up, love again and focus on myself. Those memories that made me realize my worth. It's not easy. I told you, it's not easy. If you were going to kidnap and grab the opportunity, why not. But I will tell you, I will be uncomfortable. I can gradually recover but I don't know if I'm going to be okay with that. I will accept but I may not bless.

Maybe some people will understand me, and maybe others not. It makes me sad knowing that it doesn't notice me. All the efforts, all the sacrifices were all waste. It will just prove me, face to face that it really doesn't belong to me.

Someday, I can get out of the moment. I can live without you slaying my old happiness.

"I'm just a butterfly flying with no reason and finding my desired match that can only use me and leave me after"

"I'm just an invisible angel, doing all the efforts just for you to be in good hands but cannot notice and be acknowledge." 

Yes! I'm stuck and I'm trapped.