Thursday, May 11, 2017

Shitty Experience

For all the times I spent without you
were the times it was cold and good
Stars wont shine but the sun comes up
No pressures and no more plop.

We truly separated ways,
just facebook where you are vain.
I never felt hate, only pain
But t'was before, no to claim.

Posted a portrait of myself
No intentions, just to share
And then you suddenly pops up,
All I felt was my heart out of shelf.

I dont know why I am happy
I cant explain these heartstrings
Yes, you were there and I am here
And we never chose to be near.

I don't know why I am wearing this,
I don't know why I am waiting,
I don't know why I am standing here.
I really don't know, all I know is just you will never come and you never take your last words seriously.

After my not so surprising everyday routine,
I felt alive again, I felt uniquely happy.
It's all because of you.
Because you made me believe that you are true.

But you are not. Maybe because it's me, you will never take me seriously. I'm asking myself why. Why I am feeling this way? Do I really deserve this? I never treated you like shit. I never play with your feelings like you always did to me. I don't know why I always close my eyes and opens my heart to you. You are my every wrong that I am willing to take all over again without correcting any of it. I felt you dumped me. I felt unimportant. I felt that i am JUST your "past time" when things get worse. When you don't have any to lean on to or to cling. I hate this feeling. The feeling of taken for granted. You know why? Because I never did anything to feel this way in return.

I wrote this because I wanted to free my feelings. And if ever you read this, thanks for making me feel like a trash. Bull shit! Here's to more of your games! 🖕

This will be the last time I will open my heart to you. I don't have time for your shits. Thank you for this lesson, though. See you around my player man.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Hey!


Unexpected Congratulations! 🎉👏

I really can't contain my happiness. Di pa masyadong nagsisink-in saken lahat. Sobrang nabigla ako. Hahaha! I actually felt really surprise pero yung feeling na hindi ko alam ano irereact ko sa sobrang tuwa pero nakakagigil kasi nagoodtime ako. Haha. Mixed emotions pero mas umangat yung feeling na super nakakaproud!

I actually know that April 7 is the Graduation day and never ko nang minessage yyng bestfriend ko coz I know that it would make his feels heavier. So talagang di ko na inopen-up. Last April 6, he sent me a message saying this...

So after that message, i let him nalang.Kahit di sya magreply, it's fine. Then a while ago, Exactly April 7 in the afternoon... I will let our convos tell the whole story of this blog post.



Woaaaah! So ayun!! Sobrang nagulat ako kasi nakatoga. May nakalagay na "GRADUATE" sa gilid! Sobrang di ko alam irereact ko. Kasi iniisip ko baka joke lang. Pero he sent me more proofs! Woaaah. All hardwork paid off! Sobrang saya ko. As in! Yung feeling na mas masaya pa ko nung nalaman kong graduate na sya compare nung ako ang gumraduate Hahahahahah Super proud bestfriend!! Super! Maybe kaya ganito kasi ang dami rin namin pinagdaanan bago makarating sa road na to. Road to Diploma, Road to GRADUATION. This was all our dreams. This is what we aim. And Look, we made it! WE FINALLY MADE IT! hindi nga lang sabay, but.. What matters most is we wore that same black toga and graduation cap! Waaaah! I AM SO PROUD OF YOY BEST. alan kong alam mo. Hahaha Hindi mo man mabasa but I know you knew it! Thanks be to God! Thanks for your guidance. Thank you so much! Kudos Baste! Hoping to see you soonest wearing those big smiles from our success!

Saturday, August 13, 2016

So Close... Chance

Every moment that I am here,
Standing in front of you, so clear.
My mind is saying please not to cheer
'cause you'll never stay, my dear.

You lighten up my everyday
and all your jokes that never fail,
made me feel that I'm insane.
I am happy to hear you say.

You let me realize my worth,
that I don't deserve a jerk.
Feels like I'm a baby danger
seeing your eyes in me that pause.

This is a feeling that I like,
not love, but it can make me shy.
It is not right, we both know why.
'cause we're just enjoying the skies.

You're a memory that matters.
Thanks for reminding forever.
I'll keep in mind that I'm better.
So close... we're just a wrong timing partner.

BY: RENZI ARRIOLA
08/09/16

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Good and Bad Girl

When I was in my high school days, being a good girl is a tough decision. Yes! Kasi in this world, there's  a lot of temptation. A lot of reason to say goodbye to that "GOOD" girl stuff. Hindi madali but I tried. I never leave it behind. Tinry ko kasi alam ko if I push this, achievement to. And yes, it's true. Achievement talaga and fulfilling. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin ng pagiging good girl eh yung hindi ka na magpapakasaya sa buhay mo. Ofcourse no! Just a huge limitations ang main MISSION.

Before, isa ang perception ko sa thinking ng lalaki. They choose the bad girls for enjoyment and later they will settle sa good girl which is probably wrong. It's just my opinion and my observation. Feeling ko kasi ang mga lalaki iba ang tingin sa babaeng nagyoyosi, nag-iinom o kung ano pa mang bisyo yan. Well, maybe oo. Almost lahat ng boys negative sakanila ang babaeng may bisyo. But remember the word. ALMOST all. So, hindi lahat. Hindi pala ganon lang yung mga boys.

Once they were captured by that so called "LOVE", nag-iiba na. Kahit anong flaws ng babae, kahit ano pa yan. Pag mahal nila, mahal nila. Kasi yun naman talaga ang Love. Mahal mo kahit ano pang mali sa kanya. So, it's really possible to settle sa isang bad girl. Well, i'm not saying this para magtransfer sa pagiging bad girl. Sinasabi ko 'to kasi gusto ko na makawala sa feeling ko na kailangan mo magpaka good girl para mapansin ka..Well it's not like that. Gusto ko ang pagiging good girl kasi I want to be reserved. Gusto ko na one day, if i have my partner... maipagmamalaki nya ako. I want this. I want this not for boys but for me. I want to be a reserved woman for a guy who will understand and can handle me. Someday, i'll meet you.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Brave Truth

The guy who makes me sad always,
keeping his own beliefs in chains.
There's nothing I can do to chase.
Everything seems perfect but breaks.

Believing in myself is knot.
It isn't the key to make shot
but I am still finding in cart
How to learn and let myself shout.

You're the yellow in my paper,
the important thing I can't share.
My memories will flatter,
I am still the one in shatter.

Words are still playing with questions.
Stumble to find out emotions.
Feelings are losing per motion,
hoping it's the right decision.

Goodbye, I am tired of everything.
I don't have space for accepting.
I will not let myself kept hanging,
I love you but it's the ending.

:(

BY RENZI ARRIOLA 020216

I'm Still Into You

The person behind my writings
   is still the reason why I write.
Now, I realized everything,
   he still doesn't want me at all.

A friend, friend, friend, that's all I am.
I will never be promoted
And never want to put on shame,
   'coz this intuition is dead.

I'm always here, waving my hand
Trying everything to remark
But all my efforts we're banned
   because she's all you see, that spark.

I'm sorry I am not enough
and I know I made you think hard
But I just want to tell you half,
that I love you with all my heart.

BY RENZI ARRIOLA - 123115