Unfair

Ang unfair naman.

Why do I still love you when you never did in the first place?
Why do I still care when you don't even said sorry for all the bullshits you did.
Why do I still want us to be together when you're enjoying exploring other woman?
Why do I still love you despite of all shits you did?
Why do I still can't get you out of my head?
Why do I still longing for your voice, your hugs, You!

Life is so unfair, I just invested too much feelings and love, and now I am here left alone and trying to forget all the pain that put me through.

I miss you...

Dumadating nalang ako sa puntong bwisit na bwisit pa din ako sa mga nangyari.
Tinatanong ko pa din sarili ko na, bakit ganon? Bat ko nga ba pinasok 'to? Hahahaha!
Ang dami ko nang nalaman. Ang dami dami na. And siguro sapat na yun para tigilan ko na kasi masyado ko nang napatunayan sa sarili kong hindi ko deserve yung show na binuo nya. Show that uplifts himself.
Pero hanggang ngayon gusto ko pa ring malaman kung minahal mo ba ko talaga? Nagcare ka ba talaga? O sadyang sinama mo lang ako sa listahan ng mga nilaro mo? Sakit naman. Di ba ko maganda for you? Di ba talaga ko enough kaya ka naghanap ng iba? Di ba ko pangseryosohan for you? Playtime lang ba talaga ko sayo?
Grabe lang kasi, ako, simula umpisa. Seryoso na agad yung naisip ko. Palabas lang pala lahat :(
Masagot mo lang lahat yan ng honest, okay nako. Kahit sabihin ml pang simula palang talaga, di naman seryosohan hanap mo. kahit masakit pa, basta totoo :( Kakayanin kong tanggapin.
Hanggang ngayon miss pa din kita. Gusto pa din kita. Gusto kitang kamustahin..
Gusto kitang ipaglaban, gusto kitang kausapin at sabihing let's be okay, let's be together again. Let's make things work baby.. Pero wala naman na tayong magagawa.
Kasi pakiramdam ko, wala naman talaga na umpisa pa lang.
May chance kayang mabasa mo 'to choi? Pag nabasa mo 'to, sana masagot mo yung mga tanong ko. Wag ka maghesitate na imessage ako, kasi ikaw lang naman yung hinihintay ko :(
Gaga ko! Hahahaha Alam ko na ngang gago, gusto ko pa din. Miss ko pa din. walangya lang renzi Hahaha.

How to get rid of a person who became so precious to me? How to forget? How to unlove you? How to be fine? How to accept? How to realize? How to wake up? How? :( I'm still in pain.

Sobrang lakas ng impact sakin ng mga pangyayaring to. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang magmahal ulit at magtiwala. Ang hirap.

Teachings

Appreciation Post:

Thank you Lord for all the lessons I gained from bad and good experience.

You taught me the feeling of falling in love so madly.

You taught me how is the feeling of being loved by someone you loved the most.

You made me realize how capable I am to express the love I can offer.

You made me realize that love really means sacrificing everything just to make sure that your loved one is happy.

You made me realize that I am not the only good girl ever existed.

You taught me how it feels when you're really in pain.

You taught me patience.

You taught me from the first place that I should listen to you.

You taught me that I should balance my heart and my mind. Alwayd believe in your instincts because it's God's way of talking to you.

You made me realize that there are soooo many people who loves me and appreciate me that I shouldn't beg for one person's love.

You made me realize that even you did everything, you gave everything.. If he's not into you, he'll cheat, he'll lie.

You made me realize that I shouldn't trust people so easily.

You made me realize that I must not gave in so essily because I am worth a thousand efforts and feelings.

You made me realize what real love is and what love can do for all of the people.

You taught me that love offers extreme emotions. Extreme happiness and extreme sadness.

You made me realize that I should know how to wait for my turn. Don't rush things.

You taught me how to be strong.

You made me realize that I shouldn't be underdog.

You taught me to stand up when everything fails.

You whispered to me that I must continue my life.

You taught me to believe in myself.

You taught me everything that I should learn.

And most above all, you taught me how to forgive.


Maybe that's the reason why I met people. Why I met my fairytale and nightmare in one.
Atleast now, I learned how I can love someone. That I can do anything for love but atleast know my limits.

Thanks for everything, Lord! You are really the best and you never failed me. All praises! I love you! ❤