Two Month Relationship

Here's a wonderful story and experience of mine. I started to talk to a guy via messenger. We're totally strangers. He's from Manila and I'm from Cavite. We don't have any mutual friends that's why it makes the moment more interesting. I get to know more about his life and all. I felt amazed and happy. We talked that night up until morning. My heart started to beat fast like it was the first time to feel a pounding heart.

He started to tell me his stories. He just ended his relationship a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, he's been in a recent bad commitment. I felt sad, angry and all.

To cut the story short, I sided him in all aspects. I believed in him. I don't care about the negativities of the situation. I just felt happy with his company. Until one day, he came to my work place. I felt so nervous and excited at the same time. It's my first time to meet a person whom I didn't know or I just talked to through social media. Yung first time na he's coming to me, omygosh. I felt so kilig. I don't know. Maybe ang lakas lang ng impact nya sakin. He made me feel yung feeling na 'be comfortable, don't feel awkward'. And for me, that's a major turn on ❤

In a very short period of time, i know everyone will judge me na 'sobrang ngayon mo palang nakilala, inlove ka na' I don't really know. Nangyari lang na isang araw, mahal ko na sya. And how blessed I am that he also loved me back. And yun na siguro yung moment na pinaka hinihintay ko. To be loved back by the person  I love. 😇💕 I prayed for it that one day he'll come. I thanked God everyday for giving me the man I am praying for.

But suddenly, my fairytale insights started to change the way i never expected. I felt his inconsistency. Bigla nalang isang araw nagmamakaawa na ako sa attention nya, sa love nya, sa time nya. I started to feel that everything is changing na unti unti. Tho ganon yung nafifeel ko, I closed my eyes. I still love him with all my heart. I centered my life to him. He is my priority, I must consider his feelings because I don't want to lose him. I gave him everything he needed just to make him feel that he's complete. Sometimes kasi, feeling nya sobrang sirang sira na sya, then I am complete. I can share it to him.

He is my man, he is my boyfriend, he is my partner, he's my king, he's the love songs I want to write, he's my inspiration, he's my one of a kind, he's my love, he's my everything but maybe I'm not his 'mine'. 💔 Maybe I'm one of his "my someone's trial" Maybe I'm just his girl to relieve the pain he's been through.

There comes the point that I don't care to myself. Wala na akong pakialam kung magmukha akong katawa tawa o magmukha na kong tanga para sa kanya. Basta for me, AYOKO LANG SYA MAWALA SAKIN! Kasi i love him so much.

Pero the story doesn't end the way I wanted it to last. He saw girls the way I never expect him to be. Sabi nya sakin, wala na syang ibang titignan. Sabi nya sakin he's not into girls like that dahil that's something gross to think daw. But hindi ganon yung nangyari. 😢

Up until now, I don't know why he caused me pain so much. Yung akala kong hindi ako kayang saktan, sya pa yung magpapafeel sakin ng sobrang sakit. Yes I know, I overthink, I nag, I felt paranoid. And that's all because of my gut feeling that he's cheating on me. 💔

I am a good investigator that I know what he did. Di nta lang alam pero alam ko.

Pero ngayon, wala nang galit. Sa kabila ng lahat, I already forgave him. We started to talk again. Iniisip ko nalang yung good memories namin together. Yung video calls, calls, selfies namin together. Those were the happy moments. The "kilig ones".

Atleast, after all these, I felt how to be treated as a girlfriend. I tried to use my effort to the person I really love. I miss those moments na masaya lang. When everything was true pa. No pagpapanggap, no lies. Just me and you. 😢

Pero iba na ngayon, maybe di lang talaga para satin yung oras na 'to. I don't know what the future will be. I know you're still talking to soooo many girls pa din. Idk if u're pursuing them pero ang sad lang kasi bakit ako di ko kayang makipag date, makipag mingle agad sa guys? Hmm.

Basta keep in mind that yung lahat ng love na binigay ko, totoo yun. Pure love. Hindi ko inisip na mapalagay ka sa mali kaya nagagalit ako kapag alam kong may ginagawa kang hindi tama. After all the wrongdoings, I still believe in everything about you. May potential ka. You're smart, madiskarte, magaling. You possessed all the traits na employer want to. Kailangan lang may magopen na opportunity.

Until now, kahit wala na tayo, I still believe in you. I still care. If you need a true friend, I am here. I hope someday you'll open your mind and heart to all my words I am telling you since day 1. Goodluck