Thanks Tumblr

You know I feel like crying and I don't know why. I don't know if it is because I'm into someone again or maybe because I know that it would be worst again. I will be the one in love yet doesn't get a love in return. :(
Minsan iniisip ko, bakit ako nalang yung laging nagmamahal? Ako nalang lagi yung tanga? Lagi nalang ako nawa-Onesided love. Tapos minsan naiisip ko i'm in the situation na "Almost is never enough" WE ARE SO CLOSE OF BEING INLOVE. But almost is never enough.
Pero naiisip ko parang mutual. Pero ayoko talagang isipin HAHAHA. ayoko na maHopia this time. ayoko na. Napapagod na ko. Enjoyin ko nalang den siguro. Pero sana naman no, walang masayang :(
I always asked myself, what's wrong with me? Am I that really ugly kaya wala talagang tumitingin sakin? Tapos iniisip ko, okay naman ako.. Maalaga, mabait, maintindihin. Lahat kaya kong intindihin lalo na kung ikasisiya nya. Pero wala parin. Nakakaintimidate ba ang babaeng nageexcellsa academics? parang feeling ko kasi isang factor rin yun.

Pero ako, pag nagkaboyfriend ako. Di ako maghihgpit. Kung gusto nya sumama sa tropa nya, okay lang sige. Basta he must tell me kung saan, sino sino and iupdate man lang nya ko pero hinding hindi ko sya pagbabawalan ng husto pero syempre lahat may limitation yun. Hindi ko hahayaan na umikot lang yung mundo namin sa isa't isa kasi hindi lang naman kami yung tao sa mundo. And if ever, I will make him proud. gagalingan ko pa sa lahat para lagi syang naaamaze sakin. I will help him kung ano man kailangan nya at ipupush ko sya sa tama. Kahit hindi tama yung kinagisnan nya, pipilitin ko syang pumuta into the right path. Ganon kase ako, ano pa't naging girlfriend ako kung ikukunsinte ko yung mga maling ginagwa nya. Hindi ako magagalit kung magyosi or maginom man sya kasi nature na naman yun ng lalaki. Wag lang gagawa ng kalokohan at wag lang sobra. Sasakyan ko mga trip nya para masaya kami diba. Never ko gagawing awkward at dull moment ang mga times na magkasama kame. Lahat gagawin ko para lang maging masaya sya. Gagawin ko lahat para di sya maghanap ng iba. Walang problema sakin kung tumingin sya sa sexy at maganda. Lalake yan eh. Pero hanggang tingin lang kase gusto ko AKO at AKO LANG ang princess nya :) At higit sa lahat mamahalin ko sya ng sobra sobra sobra. PERO i will not surrender my pure everything. I want him to understand that because it must be given after the marriage. Right? ;)

This is the song that I relate the most in my situation as of now,

MATCHMAKER by Aj Rafael

I don't wanna play cupid again
Don't wanna be just a friend
I know it sounds selfish but it's just how I feel
Don't want to be called a matchmaker
Introduced then he takes her
I'm just being honest and I'm keeping it real
Don't wanna know, say it ain't so
Cause I loved him first, but that's okay
Cause at the end of the day

I gotta learn to be just me
I gotta learn to smile and be happy
I gotta know when it's meant to be
And when it's not
I gotta learn to let you go
You know you can't choose who you fall for
I gotta know if it's meant to be and I know now,
It's not for you and me

So maybe it's not too bad
Seeing him with a new girl
I just want him to live his life the way that he feels
Maybe it's okay I played cupid
Otherwise I'd be stupid
To keep him from the ones that he was destined to meet
Don't let me see, gotta let it be
You know that it still hurts,
But that's okay,
Cause at the end of the day

I gotta learn to be just me
I gotta learn to smile and be happy
I gotta know when it's meant to be
And when it's not
I gotta learn to let you go
You know you can't choose who you fall for
I gotta know if it's meant to be and I know now,
It's not for you and me

Now I wanna know, how they're doing
I don't care if I loved him first
Cause I'm okay,
And at the end of the day

I gotta learn to be just me
I gotta learn to smile and be happy
I gotta know when it's meant to be
And when it's not
I gotta learn to let you go
You know you can't choose who you fall for
I gotta know when it's meant to be and I know now,
It's not for you and me
Yeah

Everybody, eh

I'm a matchmaker, baby yeah
Eh, oh yeah yeah
C'mon now
Lemme hear you, ba ra ba ra

Weird

It's funny how the feelings just stopped.

Maybe it's been replaced by someone new. 

Oh no way! But it isn't right.

Kilig means...

*butterflies in one's stomach 

*heart melting 
*shivers down one's spine 
*irrepressible noises from one's mouth 
*uncontrollable smiling 
*an inner conflict between hope of something wished for and reality

And I always felt that way. Hay. And it's sad that it's all me again. 

All of me, but i don't want top assume. I just want to let it flow.

A Selfie Lover

Pro Selfie! LOL

Questions

Minsan you're just trapped in a matter of fact. You're just stuck on your everyday routine. Sometimes, naiisip ko why am I still single? Pero it's not a question lang na basta bastang masasagot. Madaming reasons why I am still single, Maybe it's because I can do everything all at my own. O kaya naman, hindi fit na maging taken ako ngayon. Isipin nyo yung mga positive bakit kayo single hindi yung nagmamaktol ka dyan dahil lahat ng kaibigan mo taken at ikaw? NGANGA. Oh well, You're young! You're free! You can be like them or even better someday. Wag kang atat!

Pero minsan, naiisip ko. Bakit kaya ganon? Bakit kung sino pa yung taong mahal mo, di ka naman gusto? Bakit kung sino pa yung pinapangara mo pinaghihirapan mo hindi ka mapansin pansin? Nakakainis diba? Nabiktima kasi ako nyan. Yung tipong pinaghirapan ko sa iba rin pala mapupunta tapos ako? Di nya ko pansin. Tipong andto lang ako nakikita nya as "KATULONG" lol. Masakit din naman kase eh diba? hahaha! Kainis. Pero iniisip ko nalang, kaya siguro ganon kasi siguro pag napansin nya ako, mas magiging komplikado ang lahat. Baka mahirapan ako lalo o kaya naman baka mas masaktan lang ako. Everything has a purpose tandaan nyo yan. Kaya kayo kung may problema kayo. WAG NYONG SINESERYOSO....

Lalo na kung lovelife? Hay nako! Ang dami daming mas mabigat na problema kesa sa love life. Ang dami daming mas kailangang unahin kesa jan sa pangarap mong lovelife. Yang problema mong yan. Kaartehan lang yan! Maging mas maayos ka. Gawin mo kung ano yung dapat mong ginagawa hindi yung kung ano ano ang pinagiisip mo at nagmumukmok ka kase wala kang lovelife!

WAG PAKATANGA te!

Stop the Feelings

What am I feeling? I feel so afraid to continue what I am feeling. Di ko alam kung kaya ko ba 'to icontinue.

These past few days, I have this doubts, hesitations and questions about what is the real score of my heartstrings. It just came. Suddenly, I started to feel affected, jealous, demanding. I don't know why.

Before, we've been through this everyday agenda. We do it for so long and it just happened that I feel something weird. I started to feel some butterflies inside my stomach and I can't help it. I don't want and I don't want. You know why? Because I can't lose him. I won't.

Everyday I am praying that my babee would also fall inlove with me, he's the one telling me to STOP DAYDREAMING OF WHAT YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW WILL NOT HAPPEN. From every moment I wish that Babee must do this to me, must appreciate me. He's the one fulfilling it. He's the one who never bothered to be with me, never stop listening to my pointless dramas. He make some time for me, he treats me. Maybe he's just my REAL bestfriend. My true bestfriend whom I should put my time and efforts first. And I am thankful that he's there. <3 p="">
But lately, I feel so affected. I hate it. Pag pinagpatuloy ko 'to. Hohopia nanaman ako. Kaya sana di na matuloy kasi alam ko naman ako nanaman ang mahuhulog wala namang sasambot. Lol.

Confused

Ughhhhh. And I don't know what I'm feeling. Super confuse. Help me please! Paranoid!

kung ano man 'tong nararamdaman ko, sana tama. sana di nanaman hopia. hahahaha! Chos.

"she knows me so well."

In Doubt (Falling Unexpectedly)

I don't know if Im inlove, if Im falling or its just a fancy thing called crush.

Im still in doubt. Doubt kase di ko alam kung nafofall ba ako or ewan. Hayy. Iba na ren kase nararamdaman ko pag di nya ko napapansin. Pag may snsbe syang sweet. Kinikilig ako konte. Pero pag naman may kasama syang iba di ako ganon nagseselos. Dati tlaga wala lang, pero ngayon. Minsan may konting konting kurot na. Pero di pa ren matalo yung dun sa isa. Nagtataka lang ako bat nararamdaman ko to. Haha!

When we're together sobrang okay. Minsan sweet. Minsan gentleman. Sympre iba pag sa personal. Mas okay kame. Nagsmula to nung nagkasaman kame eh. Hayyy! Why do I feel this? Why am I? Am I falling?

Falling again.. Falling without catching. Oh well, that's my life decription and I'm very used to it.



IM STILL HOPING THAT IF I FALL AGAIN, THERE'S A GUY WHO WILL CATCH ME. WHENEVER I'M TOO HEAVY. 😁👊